How to Get Rich Selling a Novel to a Major Publisher, 2000 vs. 2019

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Prologue: I wrote this as a joke among friends in January. This week, I posted the original version as a thread on Facebook. Sadly, it was taken seriously. I’ve been full-time freelance since 1990. I have had wonderful experiences with editors, agents, publishers, and other writers. I’ve also had horrible experiences that include having work stolen, pirated, and used in ways I did not authorize and from which I did not profit. Buy me a scotch at a conference, and I’ll tell you horror stories. However, I will also require you to listen to the glorious moments that I have been privileged to experience. I know of no profession or job that does not include both good and bad experiences. Writing, more than most jobs, is a lifestyle profession. Please don’t take this seriously. Little bits are true. Other bits feel true to some people. However, that little bit of truth and feeling are mixed with lies and myths to create the following.

How to Get Rich Selling a Novel to a Major Publisher, 2000 vs. 2019

by Eric Witchey

2000:

  1. Learn the Craft.
  2. Write a good book.
  3. Get an agent.
  4. Sell the book.
  5. Go to signings and parties.
  6. Write another good book.

2019:

  1. Be really lucky, or….
  2. Establish financial support and freedom to pursue craft: husband, wife, trust fund, inheritance, poverty lifestyle, Patreon, GoFundMe, hut on a third-world beach, a diamond heist, etc.
  3. Choose a currently very popular genre. Base the choice on what you like to watch on TV.
  4. Read a few popular books in that genre so you can pretend to have read a lot.
  5. Learn enough of the language of craft any way you can to sound like you understand it when you are interviewed for webcasts or by Oprah.
  6. Establish credentials that prove you learned the craft: A couple honorary internet Ph.Ds or a six-week, low-residency MFA are good enough. In a pinch, Microsoft Certifications can be used. You can also purchase reviews, purchase awards, and pay someone to campaign for awards for you.
  7. Spend a few thousand dollars attending a conference and buying people drinks where editors and agents can be met and slowly befriended while you repeat this exercise 20 times a year to demonstrates that you have number 2 firmly in hand and can travel the country and world promoting and hand-selling the books a publisher might buy.
  8. Establish platform: Build, buy, or steal a mailing list of over 50k people, create or hire out author sites on all social media systems. Don’t worry. You don’t have to use them. You just have to have them so the marketing team can nod sagely and say that you have platform.
  9. Establish more platform: Create or hire out a successful YouTube channel, generate endless self-promoted appearances, hire a click farm to manipulate search engine hits on your name to exceed 500k, participate in lots of blogs and vlogs talking about you and your life as a famous writer.
  10. Write, or hire someone to write in your name, a book or series of books that: can be compared to two, but no more than three, extremely successful books or series so that marketing people can begin to believe they won’t have to work if they allow your book to be purchased by the publisher. However, be careful that your book or series is just different enough so that they have to change the cover art, blurbs, and press releases they used for the books you compared yours to. You can’t be too careful with marketing people.
  11. Get a famous author with film industry connections, say George R. R. Martin, to pitch your book or series to Netflix, HBO, or the Syfy Channel.
  12. Get an offer.
  13. Show the unsigned film offer to a publisher.
  14. Get an offer.
  15. Show the unsigned book offer to an agent.
  16. Sign with the agent.
  17. Let the agent sell the book to the publisher, which will require a new contract that gives the agent a higher percentage of all derivative products.
  18. Agent says, ” It’s a good contract. You don’t want to be considered hard to work with. Don’t overthink. Just sign.”
  19. Let the agent’s film agent negotiate the contract for the film, which will require you to reduce your up-front and take points on net while the agent’s agent and the agent lock in a percentage of points on gross for themselves.
  20. Agents all say, ” It’s good. You don’t want to be considered hard to work with. Don’t overthink. Just sign.”
  21. Go online and vaguebook about what might happen soon.
  22. Read the marketing instructions the publisher publicist assigned to your book has sent you. Realize it will be expensive to fly to go to signings and interviews in places like the independent bookstore in Brillton, North Dakota, pop. 1700. Note that the marketeers have committed to nothing except sending you the list.
  23. Ask for money for promotion. Marketing people say, “This is standard for our first time writers.” Agent says, “The money will come. Stay focused.”
  24. Take out a loan against your advance.
  25. Remain upbeat and plucky. Dutifully start the prescribed prepromotion for the book, but carefully adhere to contractual constraints and only hint at the pub date and possible film. Wouldn’t want to sour the deal or be considered hard to work with.
  26. Continue prepromotion for one to five years before you can announce the pub date and the film deal.
  27. Finally announce a publication date range that is intended to match the film release.
  28. Come up with an idea about merchandising. Publisher loves it. Realize that all merchandising revenue is owned by the publisher. It’s a good contract. Don’t overthink it.
  29. Politics and infighting end the film production.
  30. Production company declares bankruptcy.
  31. Agent says they can’t help.
  32. Agent’s film agent won’t return calls or emails.
  33. Hire an entertainment lawyer.
  34. Receive bill from lawyer for lots of phone calls, prework on lawsuit, and the final meeting in which you are told you are a creditor and won’t get paid.
  35. Publisher blames the story. They drop you just after you have delivered the second book, which you wrote in hotel rooms, vans, back alleys, and bookstores while promoting the first book and film. They cancel publication and demand the advance back.
  36. Agent blames the story. The second book, which you personally fought to get back from the publisher, “isn’t right for them at this time.” They drop you and tell you that you have to pay the advance back but won’t get their percentage back because they did their job and get paid for the work they did.
  37. Bookstores remainders your first book. Your name is forever associated with losses on their computer ordering systems. Even if you had another book, they wouldn’t order it because your name is on the cover and the last one lost money. However, they got paid for the books they sold and didn’t have to pay a dime for the books they didn’t sell. There’s that.
  38. You realize that you are the only one who does not get paid for the work you did.
  39. But wait. A huge company bought the assets of the defunct production company. The project is resurrected. The film is made. Hooray!
  40. You celebrate with a banquet for your sister and both your patient, supportive friends. The brewpub has never had it so good.
  41. The film burns bright in pre-release focus viewings. A novelization of the film goes to your former publisher. It tops out the NYT Bestseller List. Everyone gets paid except you because you were only a creditor to the first production company.
  42. Your accountant sends you a bill and a P&L that shows your net profit for the entire process is: -250k.
  43. The lawyer puts a lien on your house.
  44. Return to 1.

Resuscitating a Manuscript

By Elizabeth Engstrom

I have a new novel coming out this summer. Guys Named Bob.

This book was written long ago, had some serious interest by my agent, and several publishers in New York. I never inked a deal because they wanted me to change things I didn’t want to change.

Years later, I’ve evolved with regards to how I view my art and my career, and the message I want to send out to my family, my friends, my fans, into the universe. It was time to make big changes to the manuscript.

This was not an easy thing to do. Technology has changed radically since I wrote that book, and technology changes everything.

rewriting

But I worked with it, and I altered the story to fit who I am today. I still rejected some of the changes those editors thought I ought to make in order for it to be more of the mainstream type of book they wanted to publish, so clearly, this is not a book for everyone. But it is a book that I wanted to write then, was heartbroken when it wasn’t picked up by a publisher, and now that it has been picked up, I’m delighted to put it out into the marketplace.

Bottom line: Some projects take more time than others.

My book Candyland was outlined during a dinner party on the back of an envelope. Seriously.  It practically wrote itself, and very quickly. My agent and I had a falling out over it, and I fired him as an agent. Since then, it has been published in an anthology, as a stand-alone novel, and was made into a movie (Candiland).

Other books take years to write.

Guys Named Bob took decades. I wrestled with committing to it, wondering if I had anything original left in the tank. Was I now just rewashing old story ideas? Did this mean I was finished as a writer? Am I even capable of writing anything new and fresh?

Well, yes. Life has interfered with my writing career for a while now, but I’m back at it. I have a list of projects to finish, and have a renewed passion and excitement for them.

Bottom line: Life has its seasons. We evolve as writers. No experience is wasted. Joy, heartbreak, disappointment, love, desperation, insecurity, determination… These are all things we must experience first-hand before we can put them on the page. And while the circumstances of a piece of fiction may need to be updated, those emotions remain eternally relatable.

And oh: I have a new website. Check it out. http://www.elizabethengstrom.com

 

Do The Hop

by Christina Lay

If you’re a writer looking for low-cost marketing opportunities, there’s no shortage of options. With so many social media platforms, apps, websites and companies offering all sorts of promotional services, deciding on what is an effective use of your time and resources can be overwhelming. I am personally in a constant state of whelmed, especially now that I am promoting a series of books on behalf of ShadowSpinners Press and not just my own. This requires me to reach across genres, constantly in search of that blog, ezine, reviewer or tour company that can help me get the word out to the right set of readers. It ain’t easy, and is very much a matter of experimentation, not to mention that results can be hard to determine.

One activity I’ve found to be consistently worth my time is participating in blog hops. For those of you who have no idea what that is, a hop is usually set up in one central location (a dedicated webpage or perhaps a feature on an author’s blog) where the links to all the participants’ blogs are listed. The idea is that the reader can go to one location to find many authors in one place. Often the hop is united by genre, sometimes holiday specific flash fiction, or even a cause, like the Hop Against Homophobia. Often they take place once a week on the same day all year. Sometimes they are an annual event.

Most of the blogs I’ve participated in require the author post a short excerpt from their work. I find this to be by far the least painful form of blogging, as it requires minimal effort to assemble a post. Also, an excerpt is the best way for a reader to decide if they are interested in reading more. But there are more benefits to blog hopping than marketing. Below are the main reasons I’ve kept this up even while other promotional activities fall by the wayside.

  • Connect with other writers: Writing is a lonely endeavor, and workshops and conferences can be few and far between. Regular participation in a hop can lead to virtual friendships with like-minded writers (and readers!). Not only can you commiserate, ask questions, and share victories, a virtual connection can lead to much more. My hopping has earned me an interview on USA Today online, guest spots on numerous blogs, chances at group marketing, sales, reviews and connections with authors who’ve contributed to this blog.
  • Spy on other writers: You don’t have to visit many blogs to figure out which writers have it going on. Their websites are professional, their content is engaging, and they are always friendly and willing to reciprocate. When I find a writer whose presentation I admire, I check out what they’re up to. What other hops do they participate in? Who hosts their website? What sort of promos do they run? Who creates their book covers? What does their newsletter look like? There are all sorts of things you can learn just by looking around, and a hop is a great place to find active, professional indie writers.
  • Motivational Editing: There’s nothing like putting your work out there for all the world to see to get you to do that critical bit of proofreading and editing. Most blog hop posts are short, so you really get to hone in on those few precious words. The hop I most frequently participate in, Weekend Writing Warriors, limits excerpts to ten sentences. Because I’d like to get a satisfying mini-scene into the post, I often find that I can cut a sentence or two and make that paragraph stronger and more exciting.
  • Motivational Writing: If you’re the kind of writer who needs a little push, knowing you need that scene or those ten sentences or that piece of flash written in time for the hop you signed up for can really get you going, especially at 10 PM the night before when you’d rather be binge watching Paranormal.
  • Find books to read! Writers are readers, believe or not. I’ve purchased many books based on excerpts I read on hops, and have even become addicted to a series or two. These from Indie writers I never would have discovered otherwise.
  • Keep that blog active: As I said before, posting an excerpt is easy-peasy compared to crafting an article from scratch. Every writer knows they have to have a website, but then what? How do you keep it from sitting untouched for months at a time? Commit to an ongoing blog hop, and you won’t have to rack your brain for ideas.

Here’s a list of a few hops to check out. And if you don’t find one to suit you, you can always start your own.

www.weekendwritingwarriors.com

http://www.thatartsyreadergirl.com/top-ten-tuesday/

https://www.facebook.com/groups/snippetsunday/

https://www.facebook.com/groups/RainbowSnippets/